The Word - Vol 62

Squirrels
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Was it Walt Disney that made rats with bushy tails cute?  I’m talking about squirrels. The little rodents that are the acrobats of the animal world. I used to like squirrels, and tolerated them, even when they would chatter at me if I got too close to the tree they were sitting in. But that turned into a big dislike when a large squirrel somehow got into the attic of our little cottage and one night decided to stage a track meet back and forth across the ceiling. 

It was around midnight when Jeri nudged me and said, “What’s that noise?” “Noise? I don’t hear any noise.” I said. “No, listen closely, it’s like something is running back and forth in the ceiling!”  Now I’m awake. We crept around the cottage listening, and listening, and yes something was running back and forth in the attic! It was too late to go on a hunting safari, and I managed to talk Jeri into dealing with it in the morning.

Morning came, and the problem still existed. Up to the loft we went, pried open some of the wallboard, and had a look around the attic. There was what you would call “evidence” of an intruder but I couldn’t see him, he was probably out enjoying the sunny day or having breakfast somewhere. It happened to be the day we were going to town for groceries so the cottage would be quiet for a few hours, a perfect time to set a live trap in the attic. The bait was a dab of peanut butter topped with a pistachio nut. That should get him!

A few hours later we came back from town and I checked the trap.  Bingo! Got him! But now what to do with him? I took the trap with him in it, put it in the back of the pickup truck, and Mr. Squirrel and I went for a little ride. When I thought I was far enough down the road, I pulled over, lifted the trap door, and he scampered into the forest. Hopefully, he wouldn’t find his way back to the cottage.

That wouldn’t be the last encounter with the squirrel population in our area. Our neighbour, Joyce, who lived 2 doors down from us used to feed the squirrels. Actually just one in particular. He lived in a tree stump in her backyard and every spring he’d be there waiting for Joyce because she had peanuts! I’m sure that little guy had the largest peanut stash in the forest. He never ventured too far from home, why would he, he knew where the peanuts were!  

The rest of the squirrel population was left to find food the old-fashioned way, in the forest. That’s what made them a perfect target for my trap with the peanut butter and pistachio nut. 

I didn’t want to have to deal with a rodent living in the attic again because not only does it keep you up at night, but one of the main problems with squirrels is they chew on anything and everything. They have incredibly sharp teeth and have been known to chew through electrical wires, which can not only cause power outages but also fires. And they’ll move the insulation around to make a nest.  Not a good house guest. 

Aside from the safety issue, they tend to hoard food, and they’ve been known to carry diseases and parasites. With all  that in mind, I took it upon myself to turn into the “Great Squirrel Hunter.” Look out squirrels, the peanut butter pistachio nut trapper is looking for you!

That spring and summer season was a good one. The squirrel population was dwindling before my eyes. By the end of the summer, I had bagged 17 squirrels and a neighbour’s cat! All of them were catch and release, and I thought I should release them a little farther away from the cottage, just in case they were able to find their way back. I decided to let the little varmints go on the other side of the lake. My first thought was it was a long walk for them, and I don’t think squirrels can swim. At least I had never seen one doing the backstroke across the lake before.

I found a nice little public picnic ground directly across the lake.  My thinking was, that it would give them a possible food source if picnickers were to feed them, or perhaps leave scraps around the picnic tables. I thought 17 squirrels made a nice little community. 

One day some Vancouver friends asked us if we would check out a cottage that was for sale. They said “It’s right across the lake from you” and gave us the address. We went and found the cottage and I talked to the owner. In our conversation, I casually asked “Do you have any squirrels around here?” He said proudly, “Oh no, we’ve never had any squirrels on this side of the lake!”  

I didn’t have the heart to tell him, I knew of at least 17! 
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Till next week...
Wayne

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